Okays, I think I'm getting fatter each day. I seriously need to cut down my intake of FOOD. Although FOOD is always so tempting, but my fats is overcrowding on me. :/

Okays, school holiday start on Tuesday and worst is that Tuesday I have workshop for attachment. RP is trying to give us lesser holidays. Other polytechnic already started their holidays. Envy much!

Okay, holidays mean I have to use this precious time to revise my work. My recent UT grade already get 2 "D"s. really stress out. Don't know why I always couldn't get a better grade in my UTs. But I can understand it. :/ maybe my English is really that poor till they could understand what I'm trying to type in my answer. I guess I have to study a bit more harder! Hais. So super depress.

Nevermind. After all, I'm glad I still have my boyfriend around with me. Accompanying me all this while and trying to cheer me up. Whenever I felt stressed up and feel so upset that I got no where to rant, I punch his arm. Okay, I felt a little better when I punched him, but immediately after punching him, I felt guilty and I DON'T say sorry. If I said the word "sorry", it doesn't help me in making me feel better. Because when i punch him, I treat him as everything that oppose me. So I just say sorry in my small little fragile heart. But I know my boyfriend understand me. He keeps on letting me punch his arms, bite his arm and everything I did so violently on him and he didn't even utter a sound. I think he knows how I feel in my heart, just that he didn't say it. I know I'm like some abuser that abuse my boyfriend. But I really didn't want to let any other people to see how sad I am. I won't be punching my bed or pillow to let those anger out of me when my mother and brother is at home. I am the pillar of strength that my mum is relying on now. If I fall, she will fall too. I have to support them till the very last second. That's why I always don't show things that bothers me to my mum. I want her to live as happy as she can. Never want to see her tears rolling down her cheeks anymore. I'm really lucky to have a boyfriend which kind of understands me. Although he is not perfect, but I really appreciate him so much.

To my boyfriend (HUBBY):
You may not feel that you are important to me at times, but I assure you my dearest boyfriend, you're always in my heart. My heart is this big that I can store you, my brother and my mother. If you were to ask me if all the three of you are in the river and going to drown who I will save, I will answer you "none". Not because I'm selfish and love myself. Is because since you all don't know how to swim and I only can save one at a time and the other 2 will drown, I might as well drown my self with you all. Without you all, I'm unable to keep myself with a positive mind. Really love you all so much. :)
Boyfriend, thanks for everything and anything which you had done for me. Bare with my nonsense and everything. Once everything get back to normal, I will make sure I give you all my smiles and everything. ILOVEYOU.

This is our very first "kiss on the cheek" photo in my photo. :) Of cause I have changed my lock screen photo to this photos. You want evidence? HERE YOU GO..
LOVE THIS PHOTO DAMN A LOT ! Because he looked so happy in this photo.
Okay, enough with the photo.
This few days went school with HUBBY. Almost everyday. Contented. The only way I could show my happy feeling is by keep punching and hitting my HUBBY. :P
I know he will always let me punch. If I don't punch him and everything, he will know something is wrong with me, because usually when I'm angry or unhappy with things, I will just keep quiet. :) I know I'm a bully. He will love me more if I keep hitting him. Ha !
He can be almost everything in my life. That's why he is the reason I'm still hanging on. :)

School was okay for me. Made a few new friends like Jing Yi, Clara and Mariska. We went lunching together almost everyday with Kai Yun, Jane, Ansel, Lelee, ShiYing, Sean and Ivan. Yes. This is also the reason why I gain weight. Because I went for break everyday. Yes, the only thing which I can say about my class is "okay" as in REALLY ! I REALLY don't know what more I can talk about because class is more fun last semester. I just miss those fun days last semester. :(
Never mind, I'm still glad that I keep in touch with them. ESP Jannah and HuiLyn. This 2 always brighten up my days. Whenever we go home together, we have endless jokes. :D

Life at home is like normal. Just sometimes I really don't feel like going home. So sometimes, I have to make myself feel that I have something to do at home to make me feel like going home. Sometimes, I really just don't even feel like calling my dad when I reached home. Just force myself to call out the word "Pa". I just literally named my cup "Pa" so when he come back, just faced the cup and say "Pa". I know I'm unfilial, but you don't know how I feel. I just felt no meaning in calling him "Pa" anymore. The meaning is not there.
):