You the only one I could trust ♥

Wednesday, May 21, 2014 ❤

After the long wait, I had finally given birth to my little princess, Tan Jia Yu Clara. She is healthy and everything was going well now.

Few days before her Estimated Due Date (EDD), my husband and me was hoping that she will be out on my birthday so she would be having same birth date as me. However on my birthday, 4th May, she was not out yet. So the next day which is her EDD (5th May) I have to go down to KKH for my check up appointment and to decide if I want to induce labour or not.

On her EDD, my mum, HUBBY and his father accompany me for the check up and after the doctor measure the dilation of my cervix, it is still 1cm. The doctor then tell us some of the complication which might happened if we induce labour. Complication like if the baby heart beating is decreasing when induce labour, emergency c-section will need to be carried out or if the medicine which is used to induce labour might not work for some of the people, they will have to go home and wait wait for a few days. So we had decided to induce labour and on that day, I was admitted. It was already evening when I was admitted into the hospital. So we went to the delivery suite and the person ask me to have my dinner first before coming up to induce labour because I won't be able to eat or drink till I deliver my baby.

I had my dinner with my mum and HUBBY and after that, they accompany me up to the delivery suite and await for me outside. I was then brought into a room and were asked to lie down on the bed and a medicine in tablet form was put into my vagina and 2 straps were wrap around my tummy to monitor baby's heartbeat and my contraction.

It was really boring in the room because I was all by myself and the only way to communicate with my mum and HUBBY is through text message. What worst is the reception inside the room was really lousy. Text message took a long time to be sent out to my mum and husband and whatever games which required internet is unable to play. So I had to lie down there for about 2 hours which is 7pm to 9pm. So I used the time lying down on the bed and keep praying to God, hoping that it would be a safe and fast delivery.

After two hours, the nurse there asked me to go to the ward and come back to the delivery suite again tomorrow at 6am. So we went to the ward and ended up, my mum and HUBBY is not able to stay overnight in the ward with me. They have to go back home and I have to be alone at the ward. What worst is that the ward I chose is the a 5 bedded ward, and at that time when I reached the ward, there is only me in the ward with 5 empty bed, so it was a bit scary. But at about 12am, an Indian patient was warded into the same ward as me. Awhile later, she was brought to the labour ward because there is blood present when she went to the toilet. After she left, I tried to sleep, but the baby at the other room kept on crying and it is hard for me to sleep. So I just lie down on my bed and continue to close my eyes and pray. Till about 2am, I can feel the contraction and it like having menstrual cramps. So it still bareable.

Text my mother that I am starting to have menstrual cramps. She was so worried that she kept texting me. She even cried in when she called me and ask if the pain is bearable. She told me that she was really worried about me and was unable to sleep. She said that she was really heart broken to hear me in pain. I told her I'm fine and the pain was still bearable at that time. So I didn't really sleep well in the hospital. Just keep waking up by the babies at the other room.

So in the morning, 5.55am I was brought to the delivery suite. It was a day which was really nervous yet excited for me. I have been looking forward to see her face from the first scan when she had already have body shape and a little heart beating in her.

So when I reached there, I was asked to lie down on the bed again and the nurse measure my dilation. My vagina somehow feel numb at that point of time, but when measure the dilation, I still could feel the pain and discomfort. Dilation is only 2cm and there is still about 8cm more to go. I was shocked to heard that the dilation is only 2cm after a long night and the pain is like bad menstrual cramps. So after measuring my dilation, the nurse wrap the 2 straps on my tummy again. And I have to lie down there for 1 hour to monitor my contraction and baby's heart beat. My mum, HUBBY and his mum came and was waiting outside the delivery suite. After 1 hour, the nurse ask me to go into the labour ward and continue to monitor my contraction and baby's heart beat. My husband was allowed to come into the labour ward and accompany. The moment I saw him, I was really happy. Because after 1 night of not able to see him, I really misses him a lot. He brought in some kaya bread and milk tea for me to drink. The nurse scold me for eating a slice of bread because she said by right I supposed to be fasting already. But she say she let me eat that slice of bread and I am no allowed to eat anymore. So after finish that slice of bread, I went to the toilet and I got the feeling to shit. But when I sit at the toilet bowl and try to shit, 2 blood clumps fall out and I start to panic. I stop shitting because I scare any more extra force I'm going to push the shit out may lead to more blood clumps comig out. So I was very scared and decided to return to the bed.

The doctor then came and I told him I don't want any pain relief. Just laughing gas will down. So nothing was done to me. Husband went out and pass my mum the pass to come in to see me. When my mum come in, I saw her swollen eyes and her heavy eye bag. She probably didn't sleep for the whole night and she was so worried about me. When she come in, I just keep smiling and tell her that everything going to be alright. And she kept on asking me to pray to God and mother Mary to bless me to have a smooth delivery. So I did what she said. After awhile, she went out and my HUBBY came in. The contraction soon become really painful and it is unbearable. My HUBBY was really right beside me and I can feel that he was feeling helpless. He walked around the room, looking at the machine which Monitor my contraction and baby's heart beat. Looking at the documents of mine. He kept holding my hands but I keep pushing his hand away. I don't know if he feels that I'm rejecting his concern. But because the contraction is so bad that I couldn't have the energy to like grab his hand gently that's why I don't wanna hold on to his hand, if not he would have a lot of bruise on this hands. I kept grab on to the bed frame and keep pulling it. Till the extent I was unable to take the pain, I asked my HUBBY to ask the nurse to measure my dilation and see how much have it dilate.

The nurse mearsure and told me that it's only 3cm dilated. She asked me if I want to take epidural, because when dilation reaches 5cm, we cannot take epidural anymore. So my husband ask me if I want to take epidural. I kept answering him 'I don't know'. I asked my husband to call my mum and ask her should

I take epidural. And she said if I really cannot take it then just take epidural. And in the end, I signed the paper but the nurse told me that need 30min to 1 hour then the doctor can come. But one thing for sure, I know I want to shit. So I told my HUBBY that I need to shot badly. And he told the nurse and the nurse bring a potty for me. But it's really hard for me to lift up my butt with that painful contraction. It was really hard for me to shit at that position. So I just turned to my left side and I just try to force that shit out. There is this nurse, After a few push, I pooped and I felt that there is a gush of water coming out. I thought that I just peed on the bed, but it was not pee. It was my water bag which was broken because of the force that I exert to push my shit out. HUBBY told the nurse that I had shitted and the nurse was a shocked and she then measure my dilation and she say my dilation had reached 8cm. She then asked me to breathe the laughing gas continuously. So I followed her instructions. She then pushes the shit out and clean up the area and make sure that it's clean before asking me to push. I was dizzy after breathe in the laughing gas for awhile. My mind was blank and all I could think of is I want to shit. So the nurse soon performed episiotomy and she asked me to keep pushing. I was really drowsy and I could only use the energy I had left to keep pushing. Soon, the nurse said she could see baby's head and she asked me to keep on pushing and increase the time of each push. And soon, baby Clara was out.

When I heard her first cry, I cried. It's like she is finally here. She is like the gift from God. Was really feeling blessed to have her by my side after the long wait. She was borned on 6 May 2014. After awhile, I was then brought back to the ward and rest. Finally everything is over. The painful contraction that is really in bearable.

So baby and me had our first night together in the ward. She was next to me in the baby bed. At first I was really having problem with handling her. She keeps wanting to drink milk and after drinking milk, she doesn't want to sleep.

So I carried her up my bed and put her on my bed. She open her eyes wide open that night. She still couldn't see clearly I think. She just stare at a place for very long time.

So the next day we were able to be discharge and we went back home. Was really very tired after labour. Baby Clara still sleep all the way. She always have her ways to sleep.

Really can't get my eye off her. She is really just too cute. I can't stop kissing her chubby cheeks everyday. Really just can't get enough of her. She my happy pill.

My 2 happy pills. Hahah..

Thank God and Mother Mary for letting me had a smooth and fast delivery. Thank you for answering my prayers. Amen.

Thank you Mum for being there for me when I told you that my contraction had started. I had made you worried. I'm sorry mum! Thank you for always supporting me with whatever things I'm doing. And also thank you for taking care of me and baby and loving my baby like how you love me. Mummy! You my idol. ILOVEYOU!

Thanks you HUBBY for being such a great husband. Thanks for accompanying me and also taking care of my mum when I'm unable to. You always have your ways to keep me calm and have a peaceful mind. I'm

Sorry I kept pushing you away when I was in great pain. I don't mean it. The pain is really just too painful for me to take it. I am glad that I'm married to you. You gave me the security and also you made me feel really blessed. With you and BABY CLARA in my life, my future would be wonderful.

Thank you for giving me a wonderful family.

LI YAN ❤ LI GUANG

Always the one I teasure.

7:49 PM