Wednesday, October 9, 2013 ❤
It's kind of late but I would still want to blog this post.
This post is specially for my fiancé.
I wanted to tell him how I feel and all the things which I haven had a chance to share with him before. Because I had never dare to share it face to face. He would either be laughing at me or I would be crying because I'm touched by my own words. So...
Dear HUBBY,
Thank you for being a part of my life when I was a teenager. Still remember during secondary school there is this trend of having many "gan" something which making all of us friends calling each other "kor", "di", "jie" and "mei".
During secondary 2, every morning, you would come into the class with a bottle of peach tea and calling me "jie". When our teacher placed me infront sitting with Li Dan and you on the first row, I always find you annoying. Always disturbing Li Dan and Me.
But sometimes, you did make me laughed when you disturb Li Dan. It's kind of funny though.
When I was in a relationship which the guy could not contact me all the time, you become my listening ears. Everyday you would talk on the phone with me. We talked about homework, gossip and all the game things you are playing(my house don't even have broadband during that time).
There was once when you took my bear bear home and I asked you to take good care of it. And you helped me washed it and we were talking on the phone and you told me you hang the bear downstairs. I was so shocked that I though you placed the bear at the void deck. And that was the time when I know your house is those 2 story kind. After breaking up with the guy, naturally I was close to you. A person who I could share all my unhappiness and happiness with.
Hanging out with you and the rest become a usual thing for me to do. Hanging out at your house (the "are you cold" issue), Patrick's house (always wanting to squeeze on the bed with me) and also the very first time I go all the way so far to East Coast Park with friends (When I fall asleep on the bus, you hold my head and letting me sleep on your shoulder even we are not in a relationship). After the East Coast Park outing, Dickson told me you like me and asking me to give you a chance and during that time, I did consider.
Still remember that there was one time in school when we stay back for some filming thing and I'm upset. I said I want to walk in the rain and you accompany me to walk in the rain near the school basketball court. Our whole body and hair was so wet. We even took a photo and I still had that photo.
Though before I was in a relationship with you, I had 3 exs, you're my first love.
The first guy I had the thought of getting married to in the future. Maybe when you read this you may find it funny for a secondary 2 girl to think of marriage. But it's true that I have the thoughts of marrying to you in future. During the honeymoon period of our relationship, you text me sweet messages. I still could remember all of those messages "Good night laopo. Sweet dreams. I love you."
And I did ask you before why your "I love you" do not have forever? And you answer me that you don't know if we would last and that's why you don't want to say forever. And then 4 months plus, after we been together, you broke up with me too. Leaving me all alone. And I'm glad that you didn't tell me you loved me forever when you do not have the confident that you would last with me which make me still have a little respect for you for not giving me empty promises.
I don't understand why you would leave me. Maybe you find me annoying during that time. I don't know. But the days without you it's horrible. Days for me becoming slow and I becoming slow. But I still having hope for you to come back. But you didn't. And I slowly let you go day by day. And knowing you had girlfriend and is doing good. I move in with my life too.
Days, months and years had past. We didn't talk or even say hi when we see each other in school. Like just a passerby in life.
During secondary 5, Patrick told me that you had feeling for me. I was really doubtful about what Patrick told me. And during that time of my life, I somehow have feeling for a guy who accompany me walk through the saddest part of my life. The feeling is really mixed feeling for me. And I don't know if you really had feelings for me. After sometime in Chinese class with you, and we both just keep on quarrel like some couple and slowly the feeling draw us closer.
I still remember that day when we go celebrate Yi Feng's birthday, was the day we kissed even we are not officially together. The very next day which is 17th Jan 2009 is the day we officially together. I still remember the message goes like "baby girl, will you be my stead? "
Of course the guy who accompany me through the saddest part of my life wished me all the best in my future and tell me that make sure you don't hurt me again like last time.
Yes, we gone through a lot of ups and downs together. Like literally a lot of things. You changed a lot from 17 Jan 2009 till now. I could say is from a boy to a man. When we just get together a few days later, you shouted at me and make me cry when I just asked "where we going now?". And you did promise me that you would never let me cry again. Another one is after school you tell me that you are staying back for DNT things and ended up I found a photo on someone's blog of you, Yanzhan and 2 other girls. Making me feel that each of you are boyfriend of the 2 girls. Making me cry in the night before I go to bed.
Worst is that you contact your ex and hide from me by deleting messages. Everything I found out by myself. Making me upset and more upset each time.
But that was the past. I had forgiven you and I did see changes in you.
The you now is a man who treat me like a queen and showered me with all the love you could give me. A man who could give me the security, comfort and happiness. A man who says "I love you forevaaaa!!!"
After you went into NS, you make me feel more loved by you. You could call me and text me whenever you can. And the worried for me running away with other guy make me confirm that you afraid of lossing me. And that feeling make me feel that finally my HUBBY feel what I feel all those years.
When we just found out that I'm pregnant, I admit that I feel that you were not feeling the same as me. Maybe we feel the same thing which is fear. But after letting our parents know. You didn't like out much effort to me. You still would want to go supper with your friends when I'm worried with our baby as there is spotting. At that point of time, I was really upset and that's why I cried. Because it's like me is worrying about the baby and the daddy is not. But in the end you didn't go supper with your friends and it makes me feels better. And now, even better! :) You took good care of me and always making sure that I'm staying in a happy mood. You would let me win in whatever quarrels and always making sure I am stress free whenever you are with me.
*Baby, if you read this next time when you grow up, I must let you know you father is really a good guy that mummy had ever met on this Earth. He treat mummy so good that till the day you read this post, he is still the best man in mummy's heart. He would change and do anything for you and mummy.*
Hubby, I may not be a perfect wife on Earth, but I just wished that I'm a perfect wife to you. Your views is the most important to me. I love you forevaaaa..
Now, you are going to be in the next part of my life till death bring is apart. Are you ready to face every problems which is going to come our way?
I am willingly to hold your hands and face all the problems which is coming our way and it will be you and me against it.
I love you my precious HUBBY.
From your darling,
Tan Li Yan, Dorothy
LI YAN ❤ LI GUANG
Always the one I teasure.
11:55 PM
MY HUSBAND !